So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
