Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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