Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
