is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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