Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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