these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
