So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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