'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
