I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
