theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
