I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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