Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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