: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
