Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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