That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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