it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
