i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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