If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
