He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
