You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
