i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
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We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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