Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch