I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.