woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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