New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Every concussion has its silver lining
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
