she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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