worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
