Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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