I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
