He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
