i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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