Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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