He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just blew my weed a kiss
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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