It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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