Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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