She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
