I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
