do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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