Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
