Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
