This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
