ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
