Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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