I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
