Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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