My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
