Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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