Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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