we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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