And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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