cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
