I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
