you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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