Im at strip club and am horny
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
