So drunk its hurt
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
