you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
