Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I came so hard my ears popped.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
