Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.